Tuesday, 14 February 2012

A Plane Load Of Post.

Ah yes, Valentine's Day.  Each year I have to contend with an enormous amount of post that is dumped through my letter box from all my many admirers.  This year, due to increasing worldwide adulation, the post office has contracted 'Blog Air' to brings cards of love and admiration from my frantic, fawning 'followers' from the four corners of the globe.  And just when you thought the world was round.  
So, I now await the convoy of postal vehicles that will arrive outside my house.  I'm just hoping I can get through my front door.  What with the mountain of mail that descends through the letter box, down the hallway and cascades into my living room, it could prove a tricky proposition.   And yes, then I woke up......

Of course, the dream sequence is now over.   Note one of Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star's feline followers, gazing lovingly through the photo album of Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  

Fidelina, the beautiful fairy princess, married to Geoffrey the garden gnome, are the epitome of true love.  Playing blissfully in between them, is their cherished, much loved son, Einahalk.

To end this posting on one more loving note, I have been bestowed this very special, highly prized award, that actually makes scents...okay, sense.    I have been honoured to have received, "The Thumbs Up From Skunk award", because evidently, "we all feel like stinky, stinky skunks some days" and there are people who, "make us feel (and smell) a lot better", from this fine writer and neat lady who is another big fan of mine, I mean, Penny.   So here goes, I wish to thank, Nancy S. Thompson , for forwarding this award onto me.
Quite suitably and kind of in theme with this posting, I'm supposed to name one thing I love about myself and then pass on this smelly award to anyone I have the inclination to do so.  One thing I love about myself?   This should be easy................Okay, I always try to turn negatives into positives.
Now I forward this award onto anyone who deems themselves worthy of such a scentsible, sorry, sensible award.....That's it then.  Must go now and admire myself in one of my several full-length mirrors.......


  1. Totally original award. I love it. Congrats on being sent such a prestigious (is that how you spell it)

    Anyway, Good going....


  2. Happy Valentine's Day, Gary, Penny, and also that adorable cat (not to mention the garden gnomes).

  3. I had a dream like that once. I was inundated with red roses as I climb out of a limo driven by Rod Stewart. I slip on the roses and slide into the studio of Charlie Rose on the set of "Person to Person". I'm wearing no shoes and my socks are lime green dotted with red butterflies. Could it get worse? Yes, I look down and realize I wearing Canuck boxing shorts (on backwards) and i haven't shaved my legs in 4 months. I stop to ponder this when a pink duck wobbles past.

    You had me on "blog air", then with "feline", and finally my heroine "Penny, the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star".

    Congratulations on the award, my fine young fellow. You well deserve the adulation. Bravo and chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-ee.

  4. Aw, you didn't do the Origins blogfest? I'm sure that would have been interesting.

  5. You are just one blogging hunk of burning love ..... congrats on your stinky award....it's a sweetie. Happy Valentines Day Gary...and to Tristan and Penny as well.

  6. Hi Gary.
    I suppose my favourite will always be the Royal Gnome Home... sweet love.
    Cute kitty, by the way.
    I'd like to be showered in pink rose petals. I have a feeling it would happen via dump truck!
    Great award; congratulations dear recipient!!
    Love, Dixie

  7. Dear Gary,
    Ah, Valentine's Day. Of course, I have my own set of fawning admirers. Indeed, I often have to take care when outside my own home for fear of all the women who throw themselves at my feet. "Please, get them off me!", I exclaim, as I run away in a panick.
    OK, so the last time I got a Valentine's card was probably back when I was at college. The truth stings sometimes, don't it, Gary.
    Anyway, comgrats on yet another award. You, Penny and Tristan must be over the moon. Of course, you truly deserve your set of admirimg fans, being their favourite hirsute, happy, hippy guy with a wonderful sense of humour.
    Very Best Wishes, and a full-length mirror, your way,
    P.S. Thanks for the pnone call yesterday evening. It's always good to hear from you.

  8. Happy Valentine's Day to you and to gorgeous Penny from me and Charlie!!

    Glad I won't be the only one wading through tons of red envelopes as I get to the door! LOL!

    Yay for your stinky smelly and thoroughly sensational award! Yay for having more mirrors than me!:-)

    Take care

  9. Yep, Einahalk definitely takes after Fidelina and not the gnomish dad, which I am sure he will be glad about after he grows up. (Something thought provoking about that relationship - perhaps dad is the CEO of a group of successful gnome companies and I can certainly see that she is an aspiring model

    And a literary cat! You certainly live in a strange and interesting world, dreams or no dreams!

  10. A Happy Valentines day to everyone out there, especially those who have no expectations of receiving anything today. Someone is thinking of you!

  11. Hi Gary .. if that aeroplano has extras - please send them off down here .. I think the postman missed me! He must have done .. you sent me a card didn't you? Seagull did too - I feel sure ..

    Oh Well - another year ... misery me - love Penny and the cat -she's special .. looks pinky - wonderful colour .. and then your gnomes - Einahalk looks like he's using chocolate chunks to play with ...

    Cheers have a great Valentine's Day Penny - with your two boys .. don't blag too much with them about your award - their jealousy might set in .. Hilary

  12. Hey Bert,
    I scents you liked that award. Very original and yep, prestigious :)
    Penny sends you pawsitive wishes on Valentine's Day :)

  13. Hi Susan,
    Thank you and Penny, the adorable feline fan, the 'wee folks' and I, wish you a lovely Valentine's Day :)

  14. Hey Joylene,
    Thanks for sharing your fascinating dream sequins, sorry, dream sequence. And to think that Rod Stewart was your chauffeur. Wondering if he sang "If you think I'm sexy and you...." Or maybe he sang, "Go Canucks Go.." as he noted in the rear view mirror and realises you are a big Canucks fan, based on your backwards Canucks boxing shorts. He then offers you a leg shaver and runs over a wobbling pink duck....
    Your seat's in the first class section of 'Blog Air, you know, in with the really 'important' bloggers who have like a zillion 'followers'. The "feline" will be in the cargo hold. Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, is the pawlet, sorry, pilot..
    Thanks for the congrats on that stinking award :) Kind wishes and a recording of Dick Van Dyke's Cockney accent, your way, Gary

  15. Ah it's Grumpy Bulldog, Media Mogul,
    "Mogul"? Anything to do with skiing over lumpy bumps of snow?
    You have received my highly anticipated response to the "Origins Blogfest", on your much loved and adored, blog site. Yep, I've seen that blogfest floating around the internet. Floating around like a happy turd on its way to the sewage treatment plant. Sorry to inform you that I don't do blogfests. Would be unfair to the rest. I state, ever so modestly.
    Thanks Grumpy, its been average....

  16. Hi Delores,
    And with a curled up lip, I thank you kindly :) Ah huh...
    Thanks for the congrats and Valentine's Day wishes to all of us.
    Here's wishing you and your loved ones, a most peaceful February 14 :)

  17. Hi Dixie,
    Ah yes and the adorable child of Fidelina and Geoffrey..um...what's his name, oh yeah, 'Einahalk', wish you a peaceful Valentine's Day :)
    Thank you for your very kind congrats in regards to such an aromatic award.
    Be prepared, a 'Blog Air' flight is going to cascade down pink rose petals upon your magical self :)
    Loving wishes, your way, Gary

  18. Dear David,
    Me thinks, with all that female adulation for your shy, gentle and unassuming self, you should consider going out incognito. I can forward you a pair of Penny's sunglasses. That might help.
    And on a serious note, which we both alluded too last Valentine's Day, this can be a rather sad and reflective day for those of us who are not in relationships.
    Thanks for your congrats on us at this humble site, receiving yet another thought provoking award. We are under the moon.
    Cheers and without a sense of humour, I'm not sure I'd be able to survive.
    Very excellent wishes and a pair of Penny's sunglasses, your way, Gary
    P.S. Always a delight to talk to your good self...

  19. Hi Old Kitty,
    Why thank you and happy Valentine's Day to you and the lovely Charlie!
    I think my tons of red envelopes will be final demands to pay my bills :) I'm kidding...
    Yay indeed for such an adorably aromatic award. More mirrors than you? Can that be possible? LOL
    All the best,

  20. Hi Jenny,
    Ah yes, 'Einahalk' has inherited his mother's good looks. Yet, Fidelina and Geoffrey the garden gnome, are proof that true love knows no boundaries.
    Geoffrey is now the CEO of that much loved magazine, 'Better Gnomes and Gardens'. And Fidelina will be on the next cover of the magazine, complete with an exclusive pictorial and interview of her.
    My world is full of 'wee folks', cats that gaze longingly at photo albums of Penny and pawvocative pawblishings by Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. Heck, sometimes, even I attempt an article on this site :)
    Dreamy wishes, your way, Gary

  21. Hi Ray,
    Thanks for the balance of things with your comment. Your comment is very much in theme of my thoughts from last year's post. For those of us who do not get cards and have almost forgotten what love is like, your sentiments are greatly appreciated.
    Take care, my friend..

  22. Hi Carole,
    And with laughter and joy, your way, here's wishing you a wonderful Valentine's Day :)
    Hugs, Gary

  23. Hi Hilary,
    The seagull um deposited a card through your letter box. 'Blog Air' made a special trip to your local airport. From there, a parade of postal trucks proceeded to your place. You should of received my card amongst the gigantic pile of adoring correspondence you have gotten from around the world and points closer.
    Penny is lovely, the cat is starstruck and 'Einahalk' is playing with the finest British chocolate chunks :)
    Actually, great idea, I should pass the smelly award onto Penny. Penny just loves to sniff and sniff and..
    Happy and peaceful Valentine's Day, Hilary :)
    Warm wishes, Gary

  24. You're so silly, you hoser! Cute award...and you're, as usual, so "punny!" I TOTALLY sympathize with you about the tons of mail you get on Valentine's Day. I actually had to cap the # of members in my fan club bc I was just running out of time to autograph all of those pictures (a chick's gotta sleep, y'know?). Anywhooooo...I hope you and Penny had a groovin' Valentine's Day! Hugs from across the pond! Take off, hoser!

  25. If it's any consolation I didn't get any Valentine mail either except for a bundle of advertising circulars. Now I can enjoy my evening looking at what I could go to the store to buy to eat if I wanted to. Aw, who needs to eat anyway. Appreciated all the kind words from you today.

    Wrote By Rote
    An A to Z Co-host blog
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z

  26. Hey Reck!
    I knew how much you would relate to my posting. In fact, judging by your last, must read posting, I reckon you got tons of mail, not only from this here planet, but from those adorable little creatures on Uranus :)
    I suppose you have a sore wrist...from signing all those photos of your awesome, yet humble self, of course. Yep, I suppose even a chick of your fame, needs some sleep :)
    We had a delightful Valentine's Day, thank you. Penny, if the truth be known, got way more cards than me. Well one card would have been more than me. I know, where are the violins?
    Here's hoping you had a lovely Valentine's Day, Michelle.
    Hugs back across the pond to you, you hoser!

  27. Hi Lee,
    Sorry to note you didn't get any Valentine's Day correspondence, either. I am surprised. Maybe it got sent to the wrong address and someone is now needing a bulldozer to get out their front door.
    Food? What's that? I have a son who makes sure the food is all gone :)
    You are all most welcome for my words of encouragement and support. I also appreciate you take my good natured banter in the spirit it is intended.
    Take care, Lee.
    In kindness, Gary

  28. I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day, Gary? Who says we can't enjoy it single? I loved the hell out of myself with dinner & chocolates. =)

    Congrats on yet another deserving award.
    This is one of my top 3 tied favorite blogs!

  29. hi mr gary! you got the thumbs up skunk award. wow! how cool is that! for sure you deserve lot of awards cause youre the best!!! i hope you had a real nice valentines day. you got soooo much people that love you and im one of them. :)
    ...hugs from lenny

  30. Congratulations on your award!

    I only got one Valentine's card, but then I only wanted one.

  31. Nice award...and thoroughly well deserved...

    In my dreams I have to leave the country to avoid the deluge of cards on the 14th....and sadly the reality was a dead mouse from my cat

  32. Hi LilPixi,
    My day was nice and relaxed, thank you.
    I think you had a pretty nice Valentine's Day :) I have a great time being single and I can dance around my house in my ballerina costume, without a care in the world :) Oh, that's a secret.
    Thanks for the congrats on that real stinky skunky award :)
    It was nice to see you do another posting. Transparent and straight from the heart. That's what I love about you, LilPixi :)
    Stay positive and keep smiling, my friend.
    In kindness, Gary

  33. Hey Lenny!
    It sure is a nice n'smelly award! :) Thanks for thinking I deserve lots of awards.
    I had a well cool Valentine's Day and I hope you did too. I'm blessed with so much love and my young buddy, we all love and care about you! Penny thinks you are the neatest! :)
    Hugs and smiles, your way, Mr. Gary and Penny :)

  34. Hi Patsy,
    Thank you for the congratulations.
    I'm heartened to know you got the one Valentine's card. That's wonderful and I know what you mean :)
    Take care of yourself and your loved one.
    In kindness, Gary

  35. Hi G,
    Thank you and this award may well be the most deserved I ever received :)
    I think it's heart-warming to know how much your cat cares.
    Take good care and say hello to your cat for me.
    Kind wishes, Gary

  36. Haha! Congratulations. Hope you've been able to wade thru the valentines so Penny TJRD&MIS can go! Happy Belated <3s to you,

  37. First off- congrats on the award. It just makes perfect "scents" that would be receiving something skunk-like. Mmmm... I'm not sure if you will catch "my drift" with that last extraordinary comment. Maybe if you raise your head and sniff the air, then perhaps you will smell it. Ah... That would be my special Valentine's Day Fart to you, my friend.

    Now then, on to the rest of your subject matter. I don't want to leave anything out, considering I just ranted about people leaving tiny, lame-o comments that have little to nothing to do with the post that was supposedly read.

    So I hear you've been besieged by tons of strange sex fetish letters, boxes of poop covered chocolates and pictures of naked gnomes with STD's. Yeah, I get that a lot, too. Year round. No particular reason. All of those millions of followers just want to give you all their lovin' to make you feel all warm and gooey inside- like a fresh cat turd in your garden. Now that you're done dreaming and taking pictures of your happy little Wee Folk, I would just like to take the time to compliment you on your pussy(cat). Gosh, she (or he) looks so soft and pretty. Mmm-hmm. I reckon that pussy(cat) would like a big ol' french fried potater. Or a skunk to munch on. Okay then. Happy VD, my friend. :) Better late than never, I suppose. With respect, Kelly

  38. Looks like you've earned your stripes! Scent-sational! Of course, you've earned such an honor with your MANY wonderful qualities...Congrats, and a belated, additional Happy Valentine's to you!

  39. Hahahaha Gary I was also swimming in cards... until I woke up. :-)

  40. Gary...what day is your five year blog anniversary....let's have a blog party.

  41. I got a Reece's peanut butter cup in the shape of a heart. Does that count?

    Happy stinkiness!

  42. Hey Laura,
    Why thank and an award befitting of me, me stinks, um, me thinks...
    Just finished removing enough Valentine's card in order for Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, to go out and piddle on the puppyarazzi! :)
    Hope you had a lovely Valentine's Day, Laura.
    Warm wishes, Gary

  43. Greetings Kelly,
    Thank you for the congrats. And even bigger thank you for a scentsitive and fartfelt wafting of turds, I mean words, in regards to that skunky type award n'sniff. And for you to send me a pungent and yet sweetly aromatic, Valentine's Day fart, has brought me to an eye watering experience...
    Ah yes, your attention to detail is duly noted. And your rant, which was somewhat like my rant, minus the subtlety, is a posting that all who want to delight in your wisdom and knowledge, should read.
    Indeed, kind and noble sir, indeed. I have received a weird and wonderful variety of kinky fetish letters, strange and exotic animal dropping from fart, I mean, from far and wide. Like you, I'm blessed with adoring fans and yet I know I will never have the zillion 'followers' you deserve and must reside in the fact, it is but once a year that I am bombarded with an overwhelming amount of correspondence, sex toys and an ample supply of batteries. We must remember that the 'wee folks' are my friends.
    It seems you had a wondrous and magical time with VD. The cat in the photo loves you. Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, loves you and will be sending you your monthly supply of Jack Russell bowel moments. She really does care.
    On behalf of Fidelina, Geoffrey, your garden gnome buddy, Einahalk, the wonderful child of Fidelina and Geoffrey, a sex-starved skunk, a famous dog named Penny and yes me, shy and humble me, thank you with all our fart..oh crap, heart!
    Great comment! Thanks for sharing! :)

  44. Hey Kim,
    Very good. I like it. Earned my stripes. Pepe Le Pew is one of my heroes! :) That kinda makes scents....
    You are too kind. To stink, sorry, to think I was worthy of such an honour (okay spell check 'honor'), has brought an air of confidence about me. Well, some kinda' air!
    Thanks for the congrats and I hope you had a very nice Valentine's Day :)

  45. Hi Misha,
    I reckon you had enough cards from all your billions of admirers to fill up all the oceans and seas of this planet :) You are not dreaming, Misha!

  46. Hi Delores,
    That's a very kind thought to have a blog party for shy, humble and unassuming me. Maybe we could have a party to celebrate the positive interaction that so many of us are realising within the warm and wonderful blogging community :)
    My fifth year of this blog, which embraces the ideal of reducing the unfair stigma that still surrounds mental health concerns, is February 21.
    Thanks Delores. Your kindness is a blessing.
    In peace, Gary

  47. Hi Nancy,
    First of all, I was overcome with fumes, I mean, joy, that you would of considered me for such an aromatic award :)
    Now then, that depends in regards to your Reece's heart-shaped, peanut butter cup. Have they improved the recipe? They try selling them in Britain. Folks here basically don't get the idea behind combining peanut butter and chocolate. Then again, we have Marmite...
    Anyhow, I'm sure that your peanut butter cup in the shape of a heart was appreciated and that counts for everything :)
    Hope you had a lovely Valentine's Day.
    In kindness, Gary

  48. Hi Gary,
    First off, I didn't even know that you celebrated Valentine's Day in Great Britain! HasPenny, the modest internet star, found a couple of particularly sweet Valentines to munch on. It was so generous of Blog Air to make a home delivery.

    Also, What an especially scentsational blog award! Congratulations! Skunks have very discriminating tastes. For example, they enjoy my tulip bulbs all winter long when they could choose other things to eat. Pepe la Pew would be proud to know that you have joined his esteemed ranks. HAPPY belated VALENTINE'S DAY, Gary!

  49. Congratulations on the adorable award! You definitely are always turning negatives into positives. :)

    I love the photo of the kitten looking at the photo of Penny!


  50. The party is on for Feb 21 Gary...the invitations have been sent...the champagne ordered....fancy dress required. Make sure Penny is wearing her best collar.

  51. Yay it's THE SNEE,
    Oh yes, Valentine's Day is a big deal here. It became big here when I moved back. All my adoring fans wanted to show their love for me. Okay, dream sequence over, again. It's been a tradition here for a long time.
    Penny has had treats sent to her from all over the world. In fact, 'Blog Air' had almost all the cargo section taken up with loving cards and treats for Penny :)
    I could smell, sorry, I could tell you would consider that "scentsational" award quite the award and fitting for a dude like me.
    Ah yes, you get skunks eating your tulip bulbs and my mother in Vancouver notes that those pesky squirrels do the same thing.
    Pepe le Pew has more 'airs' and graces than I could ever possibly have :)
    And a HAPPY belated VALENTINE'S DAY, to you, Rebecca! :)

  52. Hi Sharon,
    Why thank you for the congratulations for that deplorable, sorry, adorable award! :) I know we both try to find the positives in what may seem to be only a negative situation.
    That's one starstruck cat in the photo! :)
    Thanks Sharon and happy writing.
    Hugs, your way, Gary

  53. Hi Delores,
    That was such a lovely gesture of having a virtual party for me. I'm very grateful for the posting you put up announcing my upcoming anniversary.
    I shall be wearing my very best fancy dress and Penny will be wearing her fanciest of collars :)
    Cheers and let's party! :)

  54. Delores sent me and I have giggled my way through this post. Consider that a Valentine's Day card (belated) is zooming through the blogosphere to you.

  55. Greetings, The Elephant's Child,
    I want to thank you kindly for commenting on Delores' thoughtful posting in regards to my upcoming blogging anniversary. I also noted your comment over there stated you would come and visit. And thus, my friend, thank you:)
    I'm heartened that you could giggle through this rather silly posting. I thank you for the belated Valentine's Day card, zooming all the way here through the magic of the blogosphere. I kindly reciprocate your kindness.
    Thank you and may you have a lovely weekend.
    With respect, Gary :)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.